I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
