Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
