then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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