She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You dont lie about slip and slides
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize