last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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