He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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