She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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