Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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