I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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