His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
