I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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