I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
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