Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
