...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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