is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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