Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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