I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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