I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
