winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize