I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
