hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
