Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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