she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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