So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
