3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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