google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
