Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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