I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
