My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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