so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She tied me up with her honor cords...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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