Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
