Please, let me fuck your mom
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
