Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
