look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
