so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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