Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
