O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
