I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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