non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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