i barfeds in our rink
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
