you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
