I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
