Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
not ubering you a puppy
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
