Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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