i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
