Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
