I got chris browned last night
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
