this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
