my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
