ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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