Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
