as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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