dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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