Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
