I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Its about making memories worth repressing
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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