I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
