My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Its about making memories worth repressing
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
