my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize