Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
