How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
