therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize