bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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